Pristiq was the first antidepressant I took, a little over five years ago. I was pretty young so the idea of an antidepressant was confusing and unappealing. The process was managed by my doctor and parents and I didn’t have much to do with the process of research or decision.
This medication was prescribed for the first depressive episode I experienced. I tend to think that due to the experience of depression being so unfamiliar, unexpected and debilitating, it was one of the worst episodes I’ve experienced, despite the fact that it occurred when I was in my early teens.
My confusion associated with coping with and moving through a depressive episode may have hindered any effect Pristiq may have had on me under different circumstances. I made no real effort to engage in therapy, due to the uncertainty of what i was going through, what therapy actually aimed to achieve and a fear of developing an emotional connection with a stranger.
I felt totally unaffected by taking Pristiq and experienced severe emotional, aggressive and self destructive episodes. I took the medication for six months and was engulfed by an unwavering depressive episode for the duration. At seven months, I asked to be taken off the medication without really having any objection to being on it. I was quite indifferent but could not see any purpose for being on something that made no difference to my mentality.
I had no side effects going on, coming off or being on Pristiq. Overall, it was entirely non-affecting. A few months after ceasing Pristiq, the depression lifted and I entered a phase of intellectualising and analysing what this episode meant for me and my life. I lived with an underlying sense of being dissatisfied, anxious, isolated and confused for another six months, before I experienced my second depressive episode. I did not take another antidepressant until almost two years after I stopped taking Pristiq.