January: being in love with the wrong person, not eating enough, aspiring to be as ‘sexy’ as possible, working out four times per week, break up, high expectations, resentment.
February: dating ex and hiding from other ex, anorexia, trying to be perfect, carrying a large binder around school and being studious and focused, lots of gym, make up obsession, disappointing myself.
March: stopped dating ex, sliding into depression, withdrawing from everyone, really good abs/legs/ butt, listening to the smiths a lot, road trip to the mountains, really long nails always perfectly painted, bryana holly, thought my face was very ugly.
April: not coping with anything, staying home from school, alone at lunch time, back with ex-ex, always wearing plaits, feeling nothing.
May: always staying home and never talking to anyone, always having a cold, listening to ultraviolence, writing sad songs, losing weight – 45kg.
June: confused 100% of the time, boyfriend cheated, break up, lost 5kg, took fluoxetine and became suicidal, spent every school day in sick bay.
July: felt nothing, planned my funeral, ignored everyone, stopped going to school.
August: left school on the pretense that it was a temporary break, blogilates all day, suicidal, the vampire diaries, very pretty face/ugly soul.
September: didn’t return to school, kept watching tv all day, ariana grande, mum went to france, left alone, snow, a lot of gym, grandma and grandpa, stopped taking fluoxetine.
October: got a job and worked all day everyday, crunches, masturbaton, gossip girl, fell in obsession with the japanese chef, 1989, underpaid and always tired.
November: work, money, weight gain, regret, depression eased and reality set in, applied for distance education to repeat, jaded, spiteful.
December: warm and fuzzy, writing poetry, ten don, love (actually just weird obsession), worried about body, wearing sexy clothes.