January – my boyfriend went away, lots of elliptical trainer, marina and the diamonds, depression relapse, trying to be vegetarian but sneaking chicken.
February – bun donuts, ed relapse, sickly and hot, being really bad at school, going out with friends, wearing all black, melbourne, fifty shades of grey trilogy.
March – younger-stranger-boy (YSB) shows interest in me, self-hatred/self-harm, shitty counselors who suggest watching comedy as a real solution, wishing everyone loved me.
April – really gothic, badly behaved at school, a lot of writing on walls and throwing tantrums, ignoring my boyfriend, getting a little chubby, always hungry.
May – YSB becomes interesting at the football oval in tight shorts, started wearing glasses for emotional protection, sitting alone in class, heaps of make up.
June – broke up with forever lover, started getting desperate, thought i was in love with everyone, the 1975, writing a lot of songs, eye liner.
July – committed to vegetarian, joined the gym and started caring about my health, vowed to never self harm again, watching movies with YSB, a clockwork orange, train station.
August – never trying and never failing, kinda falling in love, eating sushi, harold and maude, secret suitcase filled with idiot stuff, the blue house in the valley, winter nights and ill-fitting clothes.
September – getting thinner in a good way, getting happier but couldn’t commit, lots of gal pals and nights out to dinner, artpop and bangerz, 100% vegetarian.
October – driving late at night, dating YSB for real, britney spears, prism, hot spring days in the city, buying too many clothes with too little money.
November – planning an idealistic future, nights in syd, wasabi peas and cranberries, low self-esteem narcissist, uncomfortable shoes, cemetery.
December – thought that my life and i were perfect, thought i was going be to okay, thought i could do it, thought i would be successful, planning for the future, became vegan again, really lost and really pretty.