let it be (song associations)

i don’t know why i crawled through wet and muddy grass in dry-clean only clothes.

rainy school day in the middle of the beautifully manicured grounds, i was faced down in the grass. blades of grass like razor blades on opened skin, i cried with helplessness and biological turmoil.

escorted by pseudo-caring teachers to the safety of the office and the promise of mum. i lost my way into a garden of many azalea bushes.

wet mulch, wet leaves, wet flowers, wet me.

i took off clothes as a nod to my non-conformity. an audience of five on the edge of the garden. i laid down in wet mulch, wet leaves, wet flowers, wearing only stockings and bra. wet me.

sad me. crying me. screaming me. screaming so that everyone could hear.

me.

why did i do that? and in dry-clean only clothes…!

he entered the garden bed and scooped me up and put me in the car and didn’t say a word and left me and i put the radio on and i kept crying and ‘let it be’ was on the radio and mum drove me home.

and i was fine.

 

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