flipside

i avoid feeling things that i cannot explain theoretically. this extends to what i write on this blog.

so now i will write something completely feelings-based; unsupported, personal, and potentially esoteric.

i feel like a pros and cons list.

i feel like parts of myself are held up against each other, and either tossed into a ‘keep’ or ‘bin’ pile.

i feel like people love parts of me, that are the other half of the things they hate.

and i feel like i cannot be understood or accepted as a whole. im torn into bits.

i dont like that you dont have any friends or social life (i love that you are introspective)

i dont like how much time you spend at home (i love that you focus on your study and have goals).

i dont like that you shut down emotionally when things get hard (i love that you keep calm when i do something bad).

i dont like that you use your theories to explain yourself (i love that youre reflective and speak articulately).

i dont like that you seem practical and cold with new people (i love that youre not what you initally seem).

youre emotionless (youre mature).

youre cold (youre practical and logical).

youre mean (youre honest).

youre unpopular (youre selective).

i dont like you (i love you).